Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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