i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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