dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
