Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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