After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
