i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
