I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
