Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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