Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
