I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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