I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
