just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
