Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
