he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
