yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
how do you play pong handcuffed?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
