Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize