In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
