I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
