i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize