she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
