You just made me feel so damn special
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Mom said you looked used
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
