I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
