i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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