I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The struggles of a small town man whore
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
