theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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