apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
