Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
