im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
