That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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