similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
