So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
