The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize