Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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