I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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