I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
