its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
