Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
