I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
