It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I don't think brook has ever known best
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
