i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
