How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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