...so i touched it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize