I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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