well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
