um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We are all done wearing pants today
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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