I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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