That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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