And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
