We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
