Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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