It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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