I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
