well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
