Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
