OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize