Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My vagina just clenched in fear
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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