You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
