Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
