Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
