that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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