Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
