Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
