I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
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