Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
