Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
