Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize