I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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