at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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