It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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