We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
