hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
