Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
