Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
