Sponge bath it is.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
