I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Jerry, you need to find god
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
