Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
