If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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