So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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